Best pun gets 50 scubes :D

Ok give me some puns guys!!!

Ill start with one

Today I put ham and pinapples in a wrap... Because thats Hawaii roll.


Person that makes me laugh the most by midnight december 31st gets 50 scubes

if there is 2-3 that I can t pick between they all get scubes XD

Maybe even white scrolls i dno im bored gime some good ones XD

I had one about some pizza..... BUT ITS TOO CHEESY
Or the one about the pencil....BUT THERE IS NO POINT
Even the one about the field...BUT ITS TOO CORNY
....yeah...

Snap as the only person that has replied you have good chances for winning haha

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity....It's impossible to put down.
Did you hear about the guy who's whole left side was cut off?Hes all right now.
I'm glad I know sign language....It's pretty handy
....yeah....

Do you know why taxi's are always late in moscow?

Its because the are constantly Russian around and they forget to Putin petrol so they start Stalin

1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."

3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.

4. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm, and
says: "A beer please, and one for the road."

6. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"

7. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home."
"That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?" Well, "It's Not Unusual."

8. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't
believe you," says Dolly. "It's true; no bull!" exclaims Daisy.

9. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.

10. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.

11. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn't find any.

12. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know you can't - I've cut off your arms!"

13. I went to a seafood disco last week ...and pulled a mussel.

14. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A f s h.

15. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says," Dam!"

16. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

17. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel, and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories.
After about an hour, the manager came out of the office, and asked them to disperse. "But why," they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."

18. A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt, and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain ; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."

19. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.. This made him. (Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good). A super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

20. And finally, there was the person who sent twenty different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least ten of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

I couldn't quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.

I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.

The experienced carpenter really nailed it, but the new guy screwed everything up.

I was going to look for my missing watch, but I could never find the time.

I wrote a novel about a fellow who had a small garden. It didn't have much of a plot.

Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

Sleeping comes so naturally to me, I could do it with my eyes closed.

Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.

When William joined the army he disliked the phrase 'fire at will'.

You just type in google puns and you will have sites bunch of funny puns.Here's one for example:

http://www.punoftheday.com/cgi-bin/disppuns.pl?ord=F

Do i win :3?

1. I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
2. Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
3. I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.
Tori -

4. It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.
reif - hawaii

5. I'm glad I know sign language, it's pretty handy.
Holloway - Califonia

6. I couldn't quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.
duncan - Victoria, BC

7. There was a sign on the lawn at a drug re-hab center that said 'Keep off the Grass'.
Dave H - Hayward CA

8. I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.
Sammy - Ottawa

9. The experienced carpenter really nailed it, but the new guy screwed everything up.
Kady - NC

10. I was going to look for my missing watch, but I could never find the time.
Derek - Arizona
11. There was a big paddle sale at the boat store. It was quite an oar deal.
Ron - Eldora, IA

12. I wrote a novel about a fellow who had a small garden. It didn't have much of a plot.
SGT Snorkel - Iowa

13. Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
14. Sleeping comes so naturally to me, I could do it with my eyes closed.
manintrouble - Chennai

15. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
16. Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.
17. To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
18. He drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how the Mercedes bends.
19. Atheists don't solve exponential equations because they don't believe in higher powers.
The Punisher - Dallas, TX

20. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
21. A new type of broom came out, it is sweeping the nation.
22. When William joined the army he disliked the phrase 'fire at will'.
23. Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat minor.
24. Mummies are bound to be uptight.
Irish Limbo - Auckland

25. Need an ark to save two of every animal? I noah guy.
26. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was a nurse said 'No change yet'.
27. I did a theatrical performance about puns. Really it was just a play on words.
28. I used to be addicted to soap, but I'm clean now.
29. No one knew she had a dental implant until it came out in a conversation.
Laurence - Woodridge, IL USA

30. Einstein developed a theory about space, and it was about time too.
31. There was once a cross-eyed teacher who couldn't control his pupils.
32. Smaller babies may be delivered by stork but the heavier ones need a crane.
Irish Limbo - Auckland

33. A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired.
34. My new theory on inertia doesn't seem to be gaining momentum.
Adam Ruse -

35. The patron saint of poverty is St. Nickeless.
Toycoon - Skokie

36. A prisoner's favorite punctuation mark is the period. It marks the end of his sentence.
37. The store keeps calling me to come back and buy more bedroom furniture, but all I really wanted was one night stand.
TwoPynts - Florida

38. A relief map shows where the restrooms are.
Adele - Bohemia, NY

39. You want to clone yourself? Now wouldn't that be just like you!
Irish Limbo - Auckland

40. Weight loss mantra? Fat chants!
41. Some people's noses and feet are built backwards: their feet smell and their noses run.
42. I usually take steps to avoid elevators.
Logan Barer - CT

43. I relish the fact that you've mustard the strength to ketchup to me.
44. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
45. Pencil sharpeners have a tough life - they live off tips.
Andrew G - MA

46. Why did the capacitor kiss the diode? He just couldn't resistor.
Richard Hemming - UK

47. The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
48. What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing - but it let out a little whine.
49. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
Haymant Shew - Ontario

50. I quit gymnastics because I was tired of hanging around the bars.
Deb T. - Honolulu
51. Don't trust people that do acupuncture, they're back stabbers.
Nick - Morenci, AZ

52. My neighbor just got the part for Scrooge in a local performance. I'd love to go see him, but that play scares the Dickens out of me.
RB - Norfolk, VA

53. I'm not a big fan of archery. It has too many drawbacks.
54. I was going to buy a book on phobias, but I was afraid it wouldn't help me.
melman-kyusa -

55. The roundest knight at king Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
56. The one who invented the door knocker got a No-bell prize.
57. A hungry traveller stops at a monastery and is taken to the kitchens. A brother is frying chips. 'Are you the friar?' he asks. 'No. I'm the chip monk,' he replies.
St Crispun - Southampton UK

58. Pencils could be made with erasers at both ends, but what would be the point?
Kap'n Klystron - Nanuet, NY

59. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
60. If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed.
61. Two peanuts were walking in a tough neighborhood and one of them was a-salted.
62. What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway).
63. Lightning sometimes shocks people because it just doesn't know how to conduct itself.
Deep Sky Dan - MD

64. The dead batteries were given out free of charge.
65. When the cannibal showed up late to the luncheon, they gave him the cold shoulder.
66. What is the difference between a nicely dressed man on a tricycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle? A tire.
reif - hawaii

67. I probably have blind spots, but I don't see them.
Paul Corr - Australia

68. Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I'm OK, but I feel like I've dyed a little inside.
69. A rule of grammar: double negatives are a no-no.
Zac Hill -

70. When Peter Pan punches, they Neverland.
Benjamin - Calgary Canada
71. I was arrested after my therapist suggested I take something for my kleptomania.
iceboxraider - California

72. Did you hear about these new reversible jackets? I'm excited to see how they turn out.
riahl - mn

73. John Deere's manure spreader is the only equipment the company won't stand behind.
Terry - Omaha, Nebraska

74. I wanted to lose weight so I went to the paint store. I heard I could get thinner there.
RB - Norfolk, VA

75. I went to the store to buy some soup but they were out of stock.
Stanley Black -

76. If you lose your hearing, is it ear replaceable?
Pete - Taylor Mill, KY

77. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat says to the other, 'You stay here, I'll go on a head.'.
78. My job at the concrete plant seems to get harder and harder.
Dave -

79. If you step onto a plane and recognize a friend of yours named Jack don't yell out Hi Jack!
80. I get my large circumference from too much pi.
SGT Snorkel - Iowa
81. I like European food so I decided to Russia over there because I was Hungary. After Czech'ing the menu I ordered Turkey. When I was Finnished I told the waiter 'Spain good but there is Norway I could eat another bite'.
82. It is tough to do inventories in Afghanistan because of the tally ban.
SGT Snorkel - Iowa

83. It was an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers.
84. She got fired from the hot dog stand for putting her hair in a bun.
Laurence Levin - United States

85. I've been to the dentist several times so I know the drill.
Maurice - Greensboro, NC

86. Alcohol and calculus don't mix so don't drink and derive.
87. I'm inclined to be laid back.
Irish Limbo - Auckland

88. If towels could tell jokes they would probably have a dry sense of humor.
Don - Florida

89. It's raining cats and dogs. Well, as long as it doesn't reindeer.
Juls - Sweden

90. The new weed whacker is cutting-hedge technology.
91. Greengrocers earn a meager celery, come home beet and just want to read the pepper, take a leek, turnip the covers endive into bed.
Kap'n Klystron - Suffern, NY

92. Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.
93. Did you hear about the fire at the circus? The heat was in tents.
94. I saw a beaver movie last night, it was the best dam movie I've ever seen.
Beaver movie -

95. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
96. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
97. If you leave alphabet soup on the stove and go out, it could spell disaster.
98. The magician got so mad he pulled his hare out.
99. When the head of the consulting team suggested that the canal around the castle be filled up with cement, he was demoted.
Joseph Leff - Florida

100. I should have been sad when my flashlight batteries died, but I was delighted.
101. A criminal's best asset is his lie ability.
102. He didn't tell his mother that he ate some glue. His lips were sealed.
103. Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.
104. He said I was average - but he was just being mean.
105. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
106. The frustrated cannibal threw up his hands.
107. I could not pull out of my parking space, so I used my back up plan.
melman-kyusa -

108. The two guys caught drinking battery acid will soon be charged.
109. A baker stopped making donuts after he got tired of the hole thing.
110. The indecisive rower couldn't choose either oar.
Irish Limbo - Auckland
111. Deafness is getting to be quite a problem for me lately. I never thought I'd hear myself say that.
Dave - Coventry, UK

112. The coffee tasted like mud because it was ground a couple of minutes ago.
Eighty - Winchester

113. A noun and a verb were dating but they broke up because the noun was too possessive.
114. I really do have a photographic memory -- I just haven't developed it yet.
115. I finally got rid of that nasty electrical charge I've been carrying. I'm ex-static!
Punavista - Newfoundland, Canada

116. To some - marriage is a word ... to others - a sentence.
117. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
118. Jill broke her finger today, but on the other hand she was completely fine.
Trey Smith -

119. She's happy to make a pair of pants for you, or at least sew its seams.
platenkamp -

120. The best way to communicate with a fish is to drop them a line.
121. Never invest in funerals, it's a dying industry.
Derek - USA

122. It's better to love a short girl than not a tall.
123. I don't think I need a spine. It's holding me back.
124. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was ticketed for littering.
125. I'm bad at math, so the equation 2n+2n is 4n to me.
Abhit - Knoxville, TN

126. The proctologist reassured the patient that his condition could be rectified.
Feathery - New York City

127. I didn't have the faintest idea as to why I passed out.
Adele - Bohemia, NY

128. The book of incantations was useless. The author had failed to run a spell check.
Sam - Huntington Beach, CA

129. I decided that becoming a vegetarian was a missed steak.
Gabe - Seattle WA

130. Old doctors never die they just lose their patience.
131. My student was late for class, claiming he was in the washroom. I think he was stalling.
Toycoon - Skokie

132. Novice pirates make terrible singers because they can't hit the high seas.
DZ - Everson

133. England doesn't have a kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool
134. For a while, Houdini used a lot of trap doors in his act, but he was just going through a stage.
Doug the Pun-isher -

135. The little old woman who lived in a shoe wasn't the sole owner - there were strings attached.
JA - Houston

136. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.
137. I used to be a tap dancer until I fell in the sink.
138. I used to be a watchmaker. It was a great job and I made my own hours.
Toycoon - Skokie, IL

139. When the TV repairman got married the reception was excellent.
140. For plumbers, a flush beats a full house.

I was going to make a pun, but it was too puntastic! HAAHAHHAHAHAH! no.

I bet like everyone that posted a lot of puns got it from the internet.

god what have i gotten my self into...

Everyone used a site... mine were passes down from generation to generation

well dont forget that if there is too many from 1 person then i might just end up skipping em all

I wanted to be a doctor... But I didnt have the patience ("patients")
I wanted to go into psychology... But I was a-freud!
I wanted to be a cardiologist... But I didnt have the heart!
Why didnt the skeleton go to the party? He had no BODY to go with!

I dont take credit for these, they come from Scrubs XD Love that show <3

Here's a few puns:

I wanted to tell a joke about a pencil,but it has no point.
I wanted to tell a joke about your armpit,but it's stinky.
What's Michelle Obama's favorite vegetable?Barackoly.
You're an elevator tech?I'm sure that job has it's ups and downs.
The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
I do not enjoy computer jokes,not one bit.
Governments that try to control the internet are SOPAthetic.
How much do dead batteries cost?Nothing,they're free of charge.
How does Moses make his tea?Hebrews it.
I can't find my coat,I hope someone didn't jacket.
The hipster burn't his mouth cause he ate his pizza before it was cool.
I donated blood and they told me I was Type-A,it turned out to be a Type-O.
What do you call a fake macaroni?An impasta.
Did you hear about the cross eyed teacher?He couldn't control his pupils.

Ok as there are too many of these things for me to care for XD ive decided to give 50 scubes to all that got involved XD

Congratulations:
SnapBack
Zekhar
Taro
Kill4Fun
Cherrys
Bronzy
Revaicon

350 scubes o.O"

Been away for awhile while still voting though so i should be fine

pm me at Strife Zero (or StrifeZero) (changed my name for testing purposes from solterax to it recently -.-)

whomedude wrote:Ok as there are too many of these things for me to care for XD ive decided to give 50 scubes to all that got involved XD

Congratulations:
SnapBack
Zekhar
Taro
Kill4Fun
Cherrys
Bronzy
Revaicon

350 scubes o.O"

Been away for awhile while still voting though so i should be fine

pm me at Strife Zero (or StrifeZero) (changed my name for testing purposes from solterax to it recently -.-)

Make that 200 because Cherrys, SnapBack, and I are GM's. SnapBack and I just got promoted today!

I was gonna say a great joke, but I runned the punch line

Bronzy wrote:

whomedude wrote:Ok as there are too many of these things for me to care for XD ive decided to give 50 scubes to all that got involved XD

Congratulations:
SnapBack
Zekhar
Taro
Kill4Fun
Cherrys
Bronzy
Revaicon

350 scubes o.O"

Been away for awhile while still voting though so i should be fine

pm me at Strife Zero (or StrifeZero) (changed my name for testing purposes from solterax to it recently -.-)

Make that 200 because Cherrys, SnapBack, and I are GM's. SnapBack and I just got promoted today!

How about 200 + 150 for an event (DO A BOSS!!! LOL)

Can't believe I didn't just win the whole thing!!!!
I posted the most ~~!

whomedude wrote:

Bronzy wrote:

whomedude wrote:Ok as there are too many of these things for me to care for XD ive decided to give 50 scubes to all that got involved XD

Congratulations:
SnapBack
Zekhar
Taro
Kill4Fun
Cherrys
Bronzy
Revaicon

350 scubes o.O"

Been away for awhile while still voting though so i should be fine

pm me at Strife Zero (or StrifeZero) (changed my name for testing purposes from solterax to it recently -.-)

Make that 200 because Cherrys, SnapBack, and I are GM's. SnapBack and I just got promoted today!

How about 200 + 150 for an event (DO A BOSS!!! LOL)

I can just spawn scubes anytime I want, so i'll pass. But i'll still do events!

YOU'RE STRIFEZERO :O!
Seriously this guy deserves a medal for how purely generous he is. c:

Bronzy wrote:

whomedude wrote:

Bronzy wrote:

whomedude wrote:Ok as there are too many of these things for me to care for XD ive decided to give 50 scubes to all that got involved XD

Congratulations:
SnapBack
Zekhar
Taro
Kill4Fun
Cherrys
Bronzy
Revaicon

350 scubes o.O"

Been away for awhile while still voting though so i should be fine

pm me at Strife Zero (or StrifeZero) (changed my name for testing purposes from solterax to it recently -.-)

Make that 200 because Cherrys, SnapBack, and I are GM's. SnapBack and I just got promoted today!

How about 200 + 150 for an event (DO A BOSS!!! LOL)

I can just spawn scubes anytime I want, so i'll pass. But i'll still do events!

Noo as in 150 is a reward!!!

Revaicon wrote:YOU'RE STRIFEZERO :O!
Seriously this guy deserves a medal for how purely generous he is. c:

Thanks Rev haha its only because people are nice on this server and deserve the stuff they get

whomedude wrote:Ok as there are too many of these things for me to care for XD ive decided to give 50 scubes to all that got involved XD

Congratulations:
SnapBack
Zekhar
Taro
Kill4Fun
Cherrys
Bronzy
Revaicon

350 scubes o.O"

Been away for awhile while still voting though so i should be fine

pm me at Strife Zero (or StrifeZero) (changed my name for testing purposes from solterax to it recently -.-)

Thanks for the cubes

I need everyone to message me ingame when I am there to give their scubes